by Lynette T. Owens

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to search my daughter’s name on Google.  I was curious to see what the results might be for someone who has not yet established an online presence.  I was amazed, worried, and amused all at once.  She shared her namesake with the owner of an arts and crafts company, a dating service professional, and someone who spent 7 years in jail.  Some of these people had profiles on MySpace, Twitter, Facebook.  Some wanted to make the world a better place, others wanted the world to know everything about them. 

I did the search after I read about the term ‘cybertwin’: someone who shares your name and possibly other characteristics like age, place of residence, or career, but is in fact not you.  The article advised people to find out if you have any cybertwins so you can explain if you ever needed to.

My kids’ reputation, and that of anyone under 18, will be partly defined by what they do online.  Managing their online personal information deftly and knowing how they might be perceived online is an important life skill.  Kids should be given basic guidance on sharing personal information online, for their safety and their reputation.   And perhaps some of the best advice comes from the generation that was born with the Internet already in their lives.

“On Facebook and other sites, I do not share significant personal information like my address,” says Aaron Schild, a senior at The Bishop’s School in La Jolla, CA and a volunteer at Teen-Senior Connect, a community-based volunteer high school group which assists seniors with computer and technology needs.  “I set the privacy settings almost as high as possible to make sure that no one who doesn’t know me can find any of my personal information.” 

Schild says that he has seen instances of people posting inappropriate photos or comments, which can be a reputation spoiler.  There are technologies that can block the world from seeing or knowing too much about you, but learning to think before posting is the best skill to avoiding future harm or embarrassment.  Even if kids use the highest privacy settings, someone whom they allow to have access to their information could still share it with others.

Additionally, university admission officers are increasingly looking at social networking profiles in their consideration of potential students.  A recent study by Kaplan, the industry leader in the U.S. of test preparation services and materials for college-bound students, showed that 21% (up from 16% a year ago) of universities are now considering policies to guide how they will use an applicant’s online profile in the admissions process.   

Schild says that the college counselors at his school have advised students to minimize their online presence for the purposes of college admission, unless they have done anything truly significant online to highlight. 

His advice to kids starting to build an online presence?  “Don’t spend too much time on social networking sites, as there are many more productive things to do online and in the real world. Also, make sure that you set the privacy settings so that no person outside of your inner circle can access your personal information.”

Here are a few basic things you can do to make sure your kids are sharing only the things they need to share online: 

1. Do as you say.  What better way to advise kids then to have a profile yourself?  Understand what you can post and where, how privacy settings can be used to carefully control access, and pass on best practices and advice to kids.
2. Choose real estate wisely.  Limit the number of sites you or your kids use, and understand what they are designed for.  Some sites are designed for personal sharing, others for professional networking, others for sharing common interests such as an online gaming.  Each time you use one of these, you are putting more of yourself online, so be selective.
3. Understand permanence and privacy.  Advise your kids to be cautious about what they post.  After that, make sure they use settings to limit who sees the information they want them to see.  Once they post something, it is out there forever and anyone they gave the privilege to see it could share it.
4. Ask your kids to connect.  If necessary, ask your kids to add you as a contact to their social networking sites.  For younger kids, this can be especially helpful for both of you to ensure they are using the sites safely and smartly.
5. Use reputable, up-to-date security software.  Hackers and cyber-criminals are very attracted to social networking sites because of the sheer number of people using them.  And their tactics for fooling people into divulging personal information or downloading malicious software have become increasingly sophisticated, so be sure to have a good security program on any device you or your kids use to manage your online information.

Who our kids are online is a reflection of who they are.  Who they are is a reflection of us.   Don’t just tell them but show them how they can use the Internet in a positive and safe way.  And if you haven’t looked up your cybertwin yet, perhaps you should.

For more information on how to keep your kids safe online, go to www.trendmicro.com/go/safety.

This past July, on my way to meet with the IT Director of a local school district, I walked the halls of the high-school where his office was located.  The building, like so many public schools, appeared structurally fatigued, bearing the signs and scars of decades of students passing through.  Anyone who viewed it from the street would have been bothered by its condition and the fact that kids spent 7-8 hours a day in it, 10 months out of the year.

I had expected to react similarly when the IT Director and I sat down to discuss the school’s technology infrastructure.  I assumed that whatever was in place would be a mixed bag of old and new systems and software of various brands, purchased in waves, whenever enough money could be freed up.  I also assumed some kind of security software would be in place, but that it would be minimal. 

What prompted me to schedule the meeting was an article in the Washington Post this past June, asserting that security technology – primarily those that prevent kids from accessing inappropriate sites – have failed in our schools.  The writer argued that such filtering technology was ineffective as kids had figured out ways to bypass it in school, while teachers were prevented from accessing sites needed for teaching purposes in the classroom.  I decided to find out how big of a problem this really was.

My assumptions going into the meeting were only partially right.  The director had taken on the job 4 years ago and had made a number of changes – both in equipment and in policies for its use.  Media labs were being put together for one of the elementary schools in the district, hundreds of teachers were armed with new laptops, wiring and cabling was cleaned up in the high-school, and air conditioning was added to the room where all the back-end infrastructure was housed.

We then discussed the issue of kids accessing inappropriate things online in the schools.  He did not seem overly concerned and did not indicate there were any rampant problems.  This was good to hear.

He did feel, however, they needed to ramp up education for teachers and kids about internet use and safety and security issues.  He believed technology alone would not solve all problems he might face with regard to use and abuse of the Internet in schools.  He also felt strongly that parents needed to be both educated and educating their kids about appropriate use of the Internet.

If our kids access the Internet at school, then the same rules apply for their safety as they do at home.  But you are not there to supervise them.  If you are a concerned parent that wants to be sure your kids are safe online while they are at school, and that their information being put online is secure from anyone but you, here are 5 things you can do immediately with your children’s schools: 

1 – Engage the school administration.  Ask your principal or superintendent what the overall safety and security polices are for keeping the kids’, teachers’ and school’s internet access safe and secure.  Most schools have codes of conduct for technology use.  How are teachers and kids trained on this?  Make sure such policies and procedures are also communicated and available for parents to refer to.

2 – Understand what the disciplinary actions are when rules are broken.  What happens if a teacher shows questionable Internet content in the classroom?  How will your child’s school records be impacted if they access inappropriate content on a school computer?  What if your child is bullied online by a group of kids?  How is this handled?

3 – Know how your child’s personal information is kept secure.  Many schools are now hosting and posting a lot of personal information about your child online – and making that accessible to you over the Internet.  This creates lots of efficiencies for everyone, but a strong privacy and security policy and infrastructure should be in place to support it.  Unlike previous generations, children today have so much personal information stored in digital form that parents need to be aware of where it is and how it’s protected. 

4 – Discuss it with other parents. Bring the topic up at a future PTO/PTA meeting.  Make sure other parents are educated and engaged in this discussion as well.

5 – Ask to be briefed regularly.  Technologies change, new applications and uses for it evolve all the time.  And where they can improve the education process, they should be used.  How is the school assessing new technologies in the name of safety and security for your kids?  Make this at least a yearly topic of discussion with your school administration and with parent organizations associated with the schools.

The schools that I have been in contact with are very open and eager to engage with concerned parents on the topic of Internet safety.  And while they bear an enormous responsibility to ensure the safety of our kids while they are under their care, parents need to be actively aware and involved in their safety at all times.  You may have done everything possible to keep them safe and secure online while they are home, but they are not home for much of their waking hours.  This is a topic well worth a small investment of your time.

As a parent of 2 young kids, I tend to measure the passing of time and major milestones in my kids’ lives (and my own) based on when school begins, ends, and how it ebbs and flows in between.  While summer has ended, a lot has just begun.  My kids will have new experiences, meet new people, learn new things this school year.

In the midst of all this transition, it’s natural to want your kids to be safe and enjoy the experience.  I am attentive to my kids’ safety from the moment they wake up, get dressed, get into the car and get to school.  My kids’ schools do a great job of informing parents of their policies, procedures, responsibilities and expectations of parents to ensure that our kids are always safe when they’re there, and will be in an environment where they will learn and have fun doing it.

For the most part, safety is very naturally at the top of our minds wherever our kids are concerned.

Yet there is one area of a child’s safety that continues to fall beneath the radar of many people.  In my discussions with many parents and grandparents, school administrators, neighbors, and friends around the world, it is clear to me that we do not take the issue of our kids’ Internet safety as seriously as we do with other aspects of their well-being.

Internet safety is a topic that is not as well-understood as it should be in many communities.  Ask a parent with a 10-year old boy, and they might tell you “I don’t want my son seeing inappropriate things online.”   Ask another with 2 teenagers, and they may say “I’m worried because I have no idea who they are chatting with or what they may be saying about themselves.”   But everyone does know there are risks – they just don’t have a common answer as to what they should be worried about, much less what to do about it.

Also, most kids around the world between the ages of 5 and 18 spend about half of their waking hours in school or somewhere not at home.  Some of that time is spent online in the classroom or at a friend’s house or using their cell phones as they move from place to place.

So what is a parent who cares about all other aspects of their children’s safety to do?

Here are four things a parent can do right away:

1 – Understand how your kids spend their time online. How do they get onto the internet (computer, phone, etc.)?  Will they use social networking sites like Facebook or Club Penguin?  Be aware of any sites’ Privacy Policies and Terms of Use.  You can avoid a damaged reputation or even identity theft by simply using some of the privacy controls already available on many sites.

2 – Know the risks that being online might bring to your children. There are tons of great resources out there, some of which you can find at www.trendmicro.com/go/safety.   You may have already read or heard about sexual predators trying to groom kids online and kids’ viewing inappropriate content or posting inappropriate photos of themselves, but there is much more to online safety than the few topics that make the news headlines.  Being aware of these risks is the first step to making sure they are safe.

3 – Put some ground rules in place and use technology as you see fit. Once you understand the risks, decide how you want to let your kids use technology in their lives.  Some of that will be driven by their needs for school, but decide how you want them to use it for learning, socializing, and entertainment.  Agree on where, when, and with whom they can use it.  And know there are great technologies out there that can help you manage their time online safely.  Parental control features in security software is a great foundation to help manage some of the more basic issues such as blocking inappropriate sites, limiting their time, and monitoring where they go – and you get the benefits of keeping your system secure in case anyone – including your kids – isn’t clicking as carefully as they should.  Again, there are tons of resources to get you started from some great organizations:

• www.connectsafely.org – ask an expert for advice or download lots of great safety tips
• www.childnet.com and www.idtheftcenter.org – download tips and find helpful resources
• www.commonsensemedia.org – find out if a site is even age-appropriate for your kids

4 – Teach your kids how to be a good and safe citizen of the internet. You teach them to say please and thank you, not talk to strangers, wear a seatbelt , and treat others with respect.  The same rules apply online.  There are some things to watch out for that are unique online (e.g., don’t fall for a free offer scam that came from your ‘friend’), but like any life-skill, it just takes practice to navigate safely in the online world.

Sounds easier said than done?  Maybe, but when it comes to the safety of my kids, I have always made that investment.  I have probably spent more (in dollars, for sure) on car seats, safety gates, outlet plugs, and table corner guards to protect my kids than I have invested to keep my kids safe online.   Online safety is first about educating yourself as a parent and second about investing in technology to keep them safe.  My kids have outgrown most of the safety gear I’ve researched and paid for, but the investment I make to teach my kids good online habits will last them a lifetime.